Game of Survival - Chapter 13

Word Count: 42,390

Preview:

Dean picked at his greasy burger wrapper, crumpling it even more with his fingers as he chose his next words.

Finally, he managed a low, hoarse, “My family.”

Understanding flooded Cas’ features, and the look in those beautiful blue eyes grew more serious as he studied Dean’s expression, as he took in the stiffness in the hunter’s shoulders, the way Dean couldn’t quite get himself to stop playing with his burger wrapper, like he just needed to find something to busy himself with before he started fidgeting in his seat—which all undoubtedly betrayed the hunter’s anxiety pretty easily.

“Are you still afraid they could be hunting you?”

Dean held back a scoff—but only just barely.

“I know they are, Cas,” he said. “I just have no idea why they lied to everyone about what happened to me. They even had a damn funeral for me and everything! And I’ve been trying to think of a reason why they’d do that, but I can’t think of anything that actually makes sense. I just… I have no freaking idea what they’re planning.”

Maybe they wanted to make sure that they would be the ones to find him? If all the other hunters knew what’d really happened to him, maybe there would be some competition for who would actually get to him first? His family might have lied to everyone just to make sure no one else was gonna try to hunt him down before they could. They were probably just trying to make sure that they would be the ones to kill him.

That theory made sense, at least, but it still hurt just to think about it.

Fuck, he really hoped that his family hadn’t roped Sam into this mess. John might try, but Dean liked to think that Bobby, Ellen, Jody and Donna wouldn’t let him.

But if Sam wanted in on this, would they try to stop him?

Read the new chapter here!

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🦇🐺 Game of Survival 🦇🐺

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Chapters: 13/?

Word Count: ~422k (WIP)

Relevant Tags: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Hunters, No Apocalypse, Vampires, Werewolves, Hybrids

Summary:

For years, life was simple. Saving people, hunting things—the family business. It wasn’t as easy as it sounded, of course, but it wasn’t complicated, either. Monsters killed people, and Dean killed monsters—simple as that.

Only one day, that changed. All it took was one second, just a fleeting moment of distraction during a hunt, for Dean to lose everything he’d ever had, for him to become a cursed creature like the ones he’d spent so many years of his life trying to rid this world of.

But perhaps that’s not such a bad thing, after all.

Read the story from the beginning here!

~ Vamps ♥️

Hiii 💖

Oh, I don’t mind it at all! It makes super happy to know that so many people still want to see that story updated, even after so long. 💖

I gotta be honest, though—I really don’t know when I’ll update A Drop in the Ocean again. I’ve been struggling a lot with writing canon ever since the finale, and my inspiration for it kinda comes and goes.

What I can tell you for sure is that I’ve pulled A Drop in the Ocean back to the drawing board, so that story’s probably gonna be a lot shorter than my original plan for it. I’ve cut out two (maybe three) major storylines already, because I know I won’t be able to write them, and I’m still trying to figure out how to make everything else fit without them.

So unfortunately, my answer is that I really don’t know. Game of Survival has become my comfort fic ever since the show ended, and I’ve been focusing more on writing that one, but sometimes I get a random burst of inspiration for Coming Home as well. So in the near future, I’d only expect updates for those two. I’m sorry. 😞

(Also, I’m sorry that it took me so long to respond, but life’s been pretty chaotic. That’s also why I haven’t posted a new chapter for any story in over 4 months. 😞 But things are finally calming down now, and if everything goes right, I’ll be posting a new chapter of Game of Survival today.)

Thank you so much for reaching out! It really means a lot. I’ll try to keep you guys updated.

Also, thank you so, so much for reading my stories. I know I take forever to update and sometimes I just vanish for a few months, but know that I really appreciate each and every single kind word. Seriously, thank you. 💖

~Vamps ♥️

Hello! 💖

Yes! Okay, so, after about a year of not being able to write canon!verse at all, I think I’m finally feeling up for it again. I wrote the first two chapters of Coming Home while fueled by a whole lot of anger after the finale, but when that anger faded, it got replaced by… well, I’m not sure what to call it, but my mental health took a serious nosedive last year and I wasn’t sure how to deal with it.

But I’ve been working on the next chapter of Coming Home over the past couple of weeks, and I haven’t gotten myself triggered or anything, so I think I might be getting better. I still need to thread carefully, but this is certainly progress.

My next update will probably be for Game of Survival, but I’ll try to update Coming Home after that. And if that goes well, then I think I’ll finally be able to pick up A Drop in the Ocean again.

I’ll keep you guys updated! For now, all I can say is that I’m trying, and that I think I’m getting better. I’m sorry for the long hiatus, but I had to take care of my mental health before anything else. 💙

~ Vamps ♥️

Game of Survival - Chapter 12

Word Count: 37,507

Preview:

Dean huffed, shaking his head and tearing his gaze away again, glancing out at the empty street one more time, even though nothing about it had changed, and no car had driven by since he’d come out here. He suddenly felt like his shoulders weighed a ton, like his body was too small, skin too tight around his bones. His voice came out as nothing more than a tiny, struggled whisper when he said, “I killed a hunter, Cas.”

Because at the end of the day, that’s just what happened. No matter the circumstances that’d led Dean to that situation, no matter the reasons behind his actions, the bottom line was still the same.

“He was a friend of my dad’s,” he continued. “I met him when I was what, twenty-something? Twenty-three, I think. I knew that guy for over a decade, I worked with him a few times before, fought alongside him. And I just… I killed him, just like that. What the hell does that make me?”

Just another monster?

For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to say those last three words out loud.

“That’s not the question you should be asking yourself.”

Dean turned his head so that he could look at Cas again, and he was surprised by the confident, determined look that he found in Cas’ eyes.

“He killed that boy, without even the smallest shred of regret,” Cas explained. “And the fact that he knew you for over a decade meant absolutely nothing to him the moment he realized you weren’t human. He was ready to kill you back there, Dean. If I’d walked into that room just one second later, I would’ve had to watch him kill you. And something tells me he wouldn’t have regretted it afterwards. He wouldn’t have been plagued by guilt like you are. Now, what does that make him?”

Dean pressed his lips together, bowing his head, and Cas apparently took that as a cue to keep going.

“That was self-defense, Dean. It was either you, or him. You made the right call.”

Cas had a point—Dean knew he had, but he still found himself shaking his head, because that wasn’t all that it came down to.

“I didn’t just do it for myself.” He raised his head again, giving Cas a sad, heavy look. “He had my phone, and he looked through it, so I… I knew he’d try to find you guys. For a while there, I was terrified that after he was done with me, he’d try to impersonate me in a text or something to draw all of you out. And that meant he also had your numbers, so there were a lot of ways he could find you guys. And then after you saved me, after he saw you, I… I knew that I wasn’t the only one he’d hunt down, if we let him go. He’d go after you too. And he wouldn’t stop until he found you—all of you. Trust me.”

The look in Cas’ eyes grew sadder after hearing all that, and he tilted his head slightly to the side as he regarded Dean with one of those intense looks of his that pretty much pinned the hunter to his spot.

Finally, Cas whispered, in a gravelly, rumbly voice that came out so low, it had a chill running down Dean’s spine, “And even if you had every single reason imaginable to do what you did, you still have guilt eating away inside of you. That’s what makes you different from him, Dean. None of what he said back there was true. You’re not a monster—far from it.”

Read the new chapter here.

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Game of Survival 🦇🐺

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Chapters: 12/?

Word Count: 379k

Relevant Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Hunters, No Apocalypse, Vampire/Werewolf Dean, Vampire/Werewolf Cas

Summary:

For years, life was simple. Saving people, hunting things—the family business. It wasn’t as easy as it sounded, of course, but it wasn’t complicated, either. Monsters killed people, and Dean killed monsters—simple as that.

Only one day, that changed. All it took was one second, just a fleeting moment of distraction during a hunt, for Dean to lose everything he’d ever had, for him to become a cursed creature like the ones he’d spent so many years of his life trying to rid this world of.

But perhaps that’s not such a bad thing, after all.

Read the story from the beginning here.

~Vamps ♥️

Omg, yes!! I waited actual YEARS to make that joke! Ever since I started writing the story, really. I remember trying to write it into the first chapter and thinking it wouldn’t really fit, so I decided to wait until Dean and Cas were closer and it’d feel a little more natural.

And I was definitely giggling to myself while I wrote it into the last chapter. 😆 I’m so glad you caught it!

I’m sorry about the phone dropping, though! But I gotta admit—that’s the exact reaction I was hoping for with that line! 😂😂😂😂

Thank you so much! 💖🥰 That chapter turned out to be one of my favorites so far. It took a little longer than I planned to get it written and ready to post, but I thought it was better to really take my time with it, because it was such an important one. I’m hoping it was worth the long wait. 💖

trenchcoatandhalo:

this is the most disgusting thing i’ve ever seen

neurobivergent:

The secret good spn exists only here!

Game of Survival - Chapter 10

Word Count: 37,003

Preview:

“I’m so sorry, Jack,” he whispered. “I never wanted this for you. I’d give anything to undo this if I could. I’m sorry I couldn’t stop it. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you when I should’ve been.”

Jack shook his head, finally letting his eyes slip open again so that he could give him a look—the intense sort of look that both he and his father were pretty much known for. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Castiel huffed, shaking his own head. He’d already had this discussion with himself several times over the past few weeks, and he always reached the exact same conclusion.

“Of course it was.”

At that, Jack finally moved, shifting on the bed so that he could raise the upper half of his body and sit up, that intense look still very much present in his dark blue eyes, a heavy frown in his brows as he fixed his father with an unwavering stare.

“It wasn’t,” he insisted, and his voice sounded firm, certain. “Dad, none of this was your fault.”

“I left you,” Castiel insisted. “You and Claire—and everyone else. I knew there was danger out there. I did, because this has been my life for over two years now, and I worried about you—of course I did. I checked all the main Pontiac news sites every week, just to make sure you were all okay, that nothing had happened to you, but I… I never thought that someone would actually—”

His voice failed, breaking before he could let out anything else. He pressed his lips together and shook his head in frustration.

“I was foolish. I should’ve seen this coming.”

“That still doesn’t make it your fault.”

Castiel gave his son a sad, unconvinced look.

“It doesn’t,” Jack insisted, shaking his own head, his voice coming out louder, even stronger. “It’s their fault—whoever took uncle Jimmy, and you, and all of us. They’re the bad ones.”

Read the new chapter here!

-

🦇🐺 Game of Survival 🦇🐺

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Chapters: 10/?

Word Count: 315,232 (WIP)

Relevant Tags: Destiel, DeanCas, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Hunters, No Apocalypse, Vampire/Werewolf Dean, Vampire/Werewolf Cas

Summary:

For years, life was simple. Saving people, hunting things—the family business. It wasn’t as easy as it sounded, of course, but it wasn’t complicated, either. Monsters killed people, and Dean killed monsters—simple as that.

Only one day, that changed. All it took was one second, just a fleeting moment of distraction during a hunt, for Dean to lose everything he’d ever had, for him to become a cursed creature like the ones he’d spent so many years of his life trying to rid this world of.

But perhaps that’s not such a bad thing, after all.

Read the story from the beginning here!

Q: Are you done with chapter 30 of A Drop in the Ocean?

Not at all, unfortunately. Honestly, I haven’t written A Drop in the Ocean in a while. I tried to work on it a couple months back, and I got about 2k words written before I had to drop it, but I think I’m finally feeling well enough to try again.

The thing is—SPN was my comfort show, and now that’s completely ruined. I can’t even watch it anymore. The few times I tried led me to yet another hit on my mental health and I simply can’t deal with that anymore. It’s been exhausting, trying to deal with my anxiety without it, so again, my mental health still isn’t all that great. Also, I still don’t know what I’m gonna do when I feel the need to rewatch an episode for reference, but chances are I’m just gonna have to go by memory from now on.

Long story short—I wasn’t in a good place mentally to work on A Drop in the Ocean because it’s too close to canon and it usually requires me to rewatch episodes of the show, but I’m feeling a bit better now, so I’m gonna try again. I might deviate a bit from canon from now on, though, because I really can’t watch the show anymore.

Also, please don’t expect an update for that story too soon. I barely have anything written for chapter 30 yet, so it’s gonna be a little while. My next updates should be mostly for Game of Survival because that story has basically become my new comfort fic, and then a few for Coming Home as well, which has also been helping me a lot. I also have a couple new works that I’ve been working on—two one shots that I’m hoping to post soon.

I’m writing again, but I’m being careful. Baby steps, I suppose.

I’m sorry if anyone’s disappointed. I’m getting a lot of comments and messages about A Drop in the Ocean, but my mental health took a huge hit from the finale, and I’m still struggling to pick up the pieces. Hopefully, I’ll get there eventually.

Much love,

~Vamps ♥️